Monday, January 31, 2011

Bailey's Myth: The Creation of Formosa

There once was a mysterious orange landform, long, long ago, that was situated on top of a lush green landscape.


Nobody knew where this odd form came from - it seemed to have come from nowhere. The unicellular organisms living on this green landscape soon found that their confusion turned into curiosity. Within a few moments of their discovery of this New World, the organisms began to inhabit it, forming colony after colony.

However, what they did not know was that danger was soon looming over them.

It was the Monster.

The Monster had wreaked destruction on their lands before - their usual colonies were on little brown rocks, or sometimes even large expanses of thin, light green land. This orange land was new, and seemed so indestructible. But the Monster was hungry. The Deity of their land had run out of little brown rocks to bestow upon the green landscape that was often devoured by the Monster. So, the Deity, in the stead of these brown rocks, provided the little organisms the beautiful and comfortable orange-colored structure.

The Monster did not care whether he was destroying little rocks or big, soft rocks. He just wanted to eat, eat, eat.


As the little organisms were settling down, the Monster lay there, patient, waiting for the perfect time to strike.

Finally, the moment came.

This moment was so violent, so filled with the wrenching shrieks, "Osa! Ohhh-saaaaaa!" and terror that it is just impossible to depict anywhere except in one's deepest, most terrifying nightmares.

The Orange Form was no more. The Monster had devoured in one big gulp - not a single bite. So when he, also being an organism, had to get rid of this Orange Form from his body, it came out in one big green piece, almost good as new.

Picture from Google

The land was given a name - "Form" to say what it is, and "osa" to commemorate the last dying screams of the Orange Form's colonists.

So, it came to pass that this wonderful flourishing land became Formosa.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Bailey's Beginnings

Bailey is tired. He is not used to being in a car for such a long time. So he falls asleep quickly.


He snorts and kicks in his sleep, dreaming of his usual frolic through green meadows speckled with wildflowers as far as his nearsighted eyes could see. He is content, and he sits down, just a bit exhausted.


Then, without warning, his dream shifted.

He suddenly became a little puppy.

Photo from Google

He remembers being utterly spoiled, his large brown eyes melting every heart that caught sight of him. He also remembers being quite sneaky, sleeping on the bed with the human with the long brown hair that he remembers as Gage* then jumping off the moment he heard the sounds of the human with the short brown hair in the house.

He was The Boss.

Until, one day, another boss appeared.

Photo from Google

He did not understand this "new boss." So small, so gross. Always tugging on my ear! Why did Brown Hair Humans spend so much time with him? He would ask himself. Little Bailey resorted to competing with Little Boss. He would steal his toys and eat his food. Mm! Brown Hair Humans did pay more attention to Little Bailey, except they seemed a bit different. Not mean, just... different. Poor Little Bailey.

Little Bailey, formerly Boss, was now Not-So-Little Bailey. Former Little Boss had become Boss Boss. And, yes, another Little Boss appeared. Little Bailey could not handle it anymore. He stole and played and ate and was super jealous of the Bosses.

Brown Hair Humans were very sad. They loved Not-So-Little Bailey, but their Bosses and N-S-L Bailey just couldn't work out.

So Brown Hair Humans suddenly took him to White Hair Humans. He remembers calling one of the White Hair Humans "Mother." But really, she was just Grandma. Then one day N-S-L Bailey ended up at a house with Black Hair Humans with Funny Eyes.


N-S-L Bailey was sad at first, but he was curious too. Not-So-Little Bailey became Grown Bailey.

And Grown Bailey became Ancient Bailey.

Bailey wakes up.


Ah, I'm old again, Bailey thinks.

And that is Bailey's story. So far, at least.

*name changed to protect privacy

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Bailey's Blankets

As wintry temperatures intensify, Bailey's toes, ears and nose also become chilled! 


Bailey sometimes just can't face the chill without some aid from warm blankets - and there's little that he loves more than bundling up under some warm blankets.

Sometimes the cold is so profound that he has to wrap up as tightly as possible. Unfortunately, he usually has to leave his nose exposed. He's not very good at breathing properly with his nose wrapped up.


This way, he can sleep comfortably and warmly without a fear of getting frostbite on his toes!


Good night, and stay warm!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Bailey's Raspberries

Bailey has always seemed like a sweet-tempered and slightly stinky dog who just cannot ever seem to get angry. But inside of Bailey's heart is a slight sense of indignation for the world around him.


That's right. He has a strange tendency to stick out his tongue at any given time, and keep it there. That is an obvious marker of contempt. However, he masks his  resentment by making himself seem utterly adorable in spite of having his awful tongue sticking out for the entire world to see.


Only when he is awake is he able to make his raspberry crusade seem cute. During that time, he is able to keep his resentment visible at a very low level.

However, as he starts to tire and eventually sleeps, his true colors appear.


That snarling face and twitching brow along with his contemptuous pink tongue is more than enough for one to see how much he is filled with hatred.

...or maybe he sticks out his tongue just because he's missing a tooth and he can't control it.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Bailey's Bedhead

Not everyone is perfect, and Bailey is not an exception. He too has his awful hair days, especially in the wintertime when he grows out his fur to protect himself from the winter chill.


After a long nap and a few playful rolls on the carpet, his fur becomes a mess. And he is totally unashamed of it. Bailey actually thinks that he's making a fashion statement by trotting about with his fur sticking up everywhere.


So, to encourage his newfound style, he tried a more effective way to obtain his Static Look. He tried running a wool blanket along his back and sure enough, the result was more outrageous than ever.

Unfortunately, the moment he touched his nose to the doorknob to go potty, ZAP! He shocked himself!


His pride was a bit bruised, so he ended up not going outside at all.

He was kinda pissed, too, so he's never going to use the blanket to keep his Static Look ever again.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Bailey's New Year


Bailey feels a little bit lonely sleeping by himself on the ottoman on the chilly New Year's Day. He thinks to himself, his eyes closed, "Oh, oh. Another lonely holiday."


Wa-CHOW!

"Seriously guys?" Bailey mutters, secretly smiling inside his heart. Dolphin, Jenny, Snoopy and Charlie will always be there for Bailey. Even Turtle is thinking about Bailey back at home.


Bailey won't be lonely at all this year.

Happy New Year!